There’s been 110 Family Guy episodes. Rarely are they not worth your time. Even when it’s not at its best, Family Guy is funny enough to keep you from the doctor. Laughter is, of course, the best medicine. Family Guy takes the worst of all of us and throws it into a 20 minute festival of laughs. There’s Jew jokes. There’s fart jokes. There’s sexist and racist jokes. They say the things we all want to say but rarely say or keep to a select few. Here’s 10 (make that 9 there’s one repeat) episodes that are the pinnacle of the show. Which episode must you watch when its on?
5. Da Boom- This episode is pretty bad. But you probably know why its on the list, you might even hate the reason why its on the list. So how did Peter start the mythical fight with a Giant Chicken. Well Peter went to buy some chicken and the Giant Chicken gave him an expired coupon. That was all they needed because they began an extended fight sequence that was almost an homage to every bad action movie you’ve ever seen. The fights start randomly, and the characters continue on afterwards as if nothing happened. And even when you think the Chicken is near dead … he winks and you know he’ll be back.
4. Running Mates- “Help Me Beat My Wife!” – Peter naturally wants to defend his favorite teacher from High School and sees the perfect opportunity when she runs for school board. Unfortunately for Peter – Lois supports the decision. Well Peter wins the election by playing hilarious dirty politics, all the signs say VOTE GRIFFIN and its just a great episode. Some of the best scenes are when Peter thinks Chris is going at himself, but then realizes he’s playing pattle ball… then takes his pattle ball away and the sound continues. Or when Peter recollects to when girls start growing boobs and they all popped up … then his popped up.
3. If I’m Lyin’, I’m Dyin’- We’ve all had great TV series that got cancelled during what we considered their prime. Family Guy is probably the perfect example and almost foreshadowed its own demise in this episode. Peter and Chris have a favorite show, Gumbel 2 Gumbel, where the Gumbel brothers fight crime and interrogate / interview suspects they catch. The greatest part about it was watching the series, I thought to myself is CBS / NBC really above this kind of show? The show then goes down an unexpected route and Peter is faced with six plagues. “Its as if someone stabbed Mr. Bubble” “I’m just a big fake, like the Moon Landing, and Marky Mark’s hog in Boogie Nights. And Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman–I don’t mean that completely untrue gay rumor, theyâ€™re just both really phony.”
2. Wasted Talent- A nice little Parody of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory easily tops my list as the best episode of Family Guy. I’m a sucker for well done parody songs and these were just hilarious. Right or wrong I usually judge my Family Guy episodes by the number of hilarious random moments. For me I couldn’t stop laughing when Peter shoos away the Great Gazoo, Death re-appears at a Frat Party, or Stewie requesting the Incredible Hulk music. When I went to see the most recent Incredible Hulk movie and they kept using that music I kept thinking of the scene in this episode … damn you Family Guy. This is one of those shows that vastly changed as it got syndicated. The censors at other networks weren’t nearly as liberal making the DVDs extremely valuable.
1. When You Wish Upon a Weinstein- This episode was the 50th episode of Family Guy and it never originally aired on TV until they started playing episodes on Cartoon Network. I ended up downloading it but I can’t remember where from. I totally understood why this episode didn’t quite make it on FOX – It was super hilarious and super offensive. The episode makes fun of classic sales pitches, truisms from childhood (you can’t function in the real world without math), Star Wars (Lasik), and Lifetime Network. Oh yeah … and probably one of the best random references … as Peter is learning about the correlation between being successful and Jewish he notes “WHAT? OPTIMUS PRIME?!? HE’S JEWISH?” “You better watch who you’re calling a child Lois. Because if I’m a child, that makes you a pedophile and I’ll be damned if I’m going to be lectured by a pervert!”
5. Mr. Griffin Goes to Washington- Whenever you parody a Schoolhouse Rock video than you are doing something right. The toy factory where Peter works is taken over by El Darodo Cigarette Company and starts making toys to promote underage smoking. When Peter goes to complain he is promoted to president and the perks make the family forget about the underage smoking. To get Congress on their side, El Darodo sends Peter to communicate with them and manages to convince them simply by saying “Come on.” However once Stewie starts smoking, Peter decides not to do what the company sent him to Washington for. I laugh every time during the Dick Armey gag. “You and who’s army?” “Dick Armey.”
4. PTV- So all of Family Guy isn’ crap. This episode was nominated for an Emmy for Outstanding Animated Programming. Peter misses the Emmys while at Meg’s school play and misses David Hyde Pierce’s “trouser malfunction” and a “moment in television history”. The incident leads to the FCC and its Chairman, Cobra Commander to censor TV. In responce Peter starts his on network and airs programs such as, “Dogs Humping” and “The Peter Griffin Side Boob Hour”. Lois reports Peter to the FCC and they come to town and censor all of Quahog. They use black censor bars after Peter steps out of the shower and air horns to drown out farts. The ban is eventually lifted when Peter lobby’s Washington to change the rules because most of the cities buildings resemble body parts. The best part may be the sex that has to take places as follows: “no moaning, no tongue-kissing, no thrusting–no movement whatsoever.
3. The Son Also Draws- Anything gets bonus points when it can include some version of Harry Chapin’s “The Cat’s in the Cradle”. There are so many great things going for this episode. On the way New York to get Chris back in the scouts, Peter pulls off to use the restroom (a montage of roadside signs about “pooping” appear at this point) and ends up at an Indian casino. As he races to the restroom he yells, “I don’t know Lois I think its going to be a photo finish”. On the way out he finds Lois addicted to gambling and she’s lost the car. He tries to convince the tribal leaders he is an Indian, his great grandfather was Chief Grand Cherokee, and therefore deserves a cut of the casino profits. Meg convinces Chris to go with Peter on his visions quest, where they see the Fonz and manage to get the car back. But the best part of the episode may be at the end. The show ends with a parody of NBC’s “The More You Know” including Stewie telling us, “The Mexicans are a clean and industrious people with a rich, cultural heritage.”
2. Chitty Chitty Death Bang- What’s there not to like about a good cult? Meg’s inability to make friends is brought to the forefront in this episode when she unknowingly joins a cult to have friends. Peter screws up royally by canceling Stewie’s first birthday at Cheesie Charlie’s but manages to redirect a circus to the backyard to make up for. All this is going on while Stewie suspects the man is white is coming to take him back to the womb. The man is white turns out to be the cult leader (John O’Hurley guest appearance) who comes looking for Meg after she fails to drink the Kool-Aid during the cult’s mass suicide and returns to celebrate Stewie’s birthday. The best line goes something like this. “I want my nads back.”
1. Da Boom- Two words: Giant Chicken. That’s right. Da Boom is the debut of Ernie the Giant Chicken with whom Peter has an epic battle because of an expired coupon. Of course the fued between Ernie and Peter is now a running gag. While the Giant Chicken fight is classic, the episode doesn’t live on this gag. To protect the family from a possible disaster Peter tells the family to go in the basement because what they always wanted is down there. Stewie asks, “A dead Lois?” After the Y2K apocalypse, Peter eats an entire years worth of dehydrated food and then balloons up after taking a sip of water. Peter orders everybody out of the room saying, “Everyone leave. I gotta poop. NOW!” Without food the family travels to a Twinkie factory where they set up New Quahog. As head of the new town Peter has everybody draw out of a hat for their profession. The whole episode is laugh out loud funny.