CadaverBlender

CadaverBlender is back. Fresh off a trip to the infield for Kentucky Derby 134 we’ve got the best way to ensure all your money goes towards exactas and trifectas and not towards $6 beer and $9 Mint Juleps (though one Julep for the souvenir glass might be worth it). I know you’ve come to expect a list, but really there is only one surefire way to sneak booze into Churchill Downs and thats with the booze sandwich. Click for more including pictures.

Making the booze sandwich is quite easy. Pick up your favorite alcohol (or in this case, a cheap alternative). The only logical selection for the Kentucky Derby was a fine bourbon. Evan Williams of course. Then select a hearty sized artisan bread. Large enough to hold a 16 oz. bottle. Then proceed by cutting the bread in half and removing most of the bread, leaving just the crust shell. Fill your 16 oz. bottle with your booze of choice and place inside the bread. Make sure the cap is tightly secured. You could stop there with booze bread, but why not make it more authentic and add a few slices of your favorite deli meat, a little lettuce, and some cheese. The mayo can be omitted because nobody wants a slippery bottle of booze. Once the bread is loaded wrap it in a little saran wrap and there you have it, your booze sandwich.

Before heading to the track, load your clear plastic bag with some other food: chips, fruit, and cookies and now you have a complete meal. When you arrive at security, they’ll think nothing of your booze sandwich, thinking only it looks like a tasty meal for a long day at the track. Find your spot in the infield, throw down your tarp, and proceed to unload your sandwich. Put your bottle of booze in your pocket and proceed to eat the rest of the sandwich, if you so choose. 16 oz. of boozy goodness to sustain your infield debauchery with only a small amount of work. It sure beats waiting in line for overpriced and undersized drinks once you’re at the track.

Booze to BottleCutting Bread Bottle in Bread Final Sandwich Keith and Jesus At the track Eating Sandwich Jesus

29 Responses to “The Best Way to Sneak Booze into the Kentucky Derby”

  1. Theresa

    I’m so glad you all documented this. I was kind of wondering what it looked like. Pretty impressive I must say. I wouldn’t suspect it to be anything other than a sandwich.

  2. Judy

    Make me proud to be an Illini!

  3. Advice: how to get booze into Churchill Downs? - SpartanTailgate.com - Michigan State Spartans Forums

    [...] CadaverBlender » Blog Archive » The Best Way to Sneak Booze into the Kentucky Derby CadaverBlender is back. Fresh off a trip to the infield for Kentucky Derby 134 we’ve got the best way to ensure all your money goes towards exactas and trifectas and not towards $6 beer and $9 Mint Juleps (though one Julep for the souvenir glass might be worth it). I know you’ve come to expect a list, but really there is only one surefire way to sneak booze into Churchill Downs and thats with the booze sandwich. Click for more including pictures. Making the booze sandwich is quite easy. Once the bread is loaded wrap it in a little saran wrap and there you have it, your booze sandwich. Before heading to the track, load your clear plastic bag with some other food: chips, fruit, and cookies and now you have a complete meal. __________________ This **** has got to stop. [...]

  4. admin

    Post September 11th, 2001 Churchill Downs enacted very strict regulations on what is and isn’t allowed in the infield. The list of things not allowed includes both liquids and coolers. For the rest of the rundown check it out here at the Kentucky Derby website.

    http://www.kentuckyderby.com/2008/experience/infield/what-to-bring

    That’s why it was necessary to hide the booze in the sandwich. And plus you have lunch/dinner.

  5. Tailgater

    This is hilarious but unfortunately by producing these photographs you have ruined it for future parties.

  6. Master Shake

    I wouldn’t sweat it… I love the place, but they’re not that sharp in Kentucky…

  7. The Champagne of Blogs » How to Make a Booze Sandwich

    [...] of the incredibly imaginative people at CadaverBlender (via [...]

  8. The Big Picture

    you guys are trailblazers! one of the funniest things i’ve seen in a while! bravo!

  9. Brad

    That redhead kid with the hat looks like the kind of kid who would go see Made of Honor.

  10. BrandonA

    Jealous man,

    we stuck one bottle inside a bag of “homemade” chex mix and another inside a box of twizzlers. But your idea is much slicker.

  11. keith

    next year … ma’am can you open up your sammich?

  12. Lisa

    Sweet! That sure looks like my Aunt Mary Jane’s kitchen!

  13. Sam

    In past years, we’ve filled ziplocks with whisky and taped them inside of Triscuit boxes, taped bags to legs, and of course, purchased such great innovations as the flask-binoculars, flask-belt and flask-fake stomach.

  14. Fred

    They actually know people hollow out bread to hide booze, its part of a movie that plays next door at the derby museum.

  15. ed

    Finally science and technology are being used for good instead of evil.

    I hereby nominate you for a Nobel Prize in the field of Drinkery.

  16. Genewize Team Fan

    That is the coolest tip I’ve seen for sneaking booze in to any kind of festival. So cool that you posted pictures as proof.

    My first time here, really dig the name of you blog.

    - Glen

  17. Genewize Reviews Guy

    Ok i tried it at the race track and it worked like a charm! now its time to get creative! Thanks for the tip, and good looking blog!

    -Justin

  18. Melanie

    One word….BRILLIANT!! :)

  19. Churchill Security

    It’s websites like this that gives us an edge in our endeavors to improve our security training at churchill downs. Believe it or not, we do conduct training classes with video and actual props showing the many clever techniques used to sneak liquor onto our property, ie, fake cooler bottom, beer belly, seat cushion, liquor sandwich, gallon orange juice containers, taped baggies on body and the many other ways which I will not mention. Our security personnel are highly trained and motivated to ensure that vendors at churchill downs receive maximum protection to enhance profitability. This year, all security personnel are instructed to physically lift all food items to check proper weight and to fully inspect by opening and smelling all containers containing any type of liquid. Cans are not permitted. We also have the authority this year to physically do a “pat down” of suspected individuals which may be concealing illegial contraband. Each person entering our property is subject to a full search and will be taken to a private area to conduct this inspection. Try to sneak anything onto my grounds this year and you will get caught. My job is on the line and I will not fail.

  20. Me

    ^ Churchill Security I have just one word for you…

    P U S S Y, get some!

    It does wonders for you assholeness.

  21. Mike

    Hey churchill security your gay and mad at life that you didn’t become a real cop. Now you work security at a race track and your “My job is on the line and I will not fail.” Your lame.

  22. admin

    We all hope that security comes before finding 2 kids with booze sammiches. No, finding contraband is not a safety issue, its not even a profitability issue as you claim.

    I also hope that in searching legitimate sandwiches and food your service gives appropriate procedures to safety and sanitary handling of a strangers food. Given the current global outbreak of swine flu, I would hope gloves are plentiful and your security guards are wearing masks.

    As for profitability, the people who’d carry a booze sammich are not the type that will be hitting up the stands all day … they’re the types who will have fun without a buzz at the event. They’ll pay the $40 to get in, maybe one julep and one beer for the experience, but thats it. No one is taking money from vendors because well the people in these pictures aren’t high rollers, their money is going to ponies at best and its all scarce. So at the end of the day, you’re protecting a set of rules for no one, and devoting scarce resources to profitability instead of safety where they belong.

  23. Jesus

    It’s people like you, Churchill Security, who make us want to succeed even more. Thanks for the motivation and good luck confiscating all the smuggled booze because you’re going to need it. Just for you we’ll post 2009 pictures on Monday.

  24. Churchill Security

    Hahaahaaahaaa

    GOTCHA!!!

    I made this shit up.

  25. napakalibog

    yes, nice post mate, thankyou sooo much.

  26. Churchill Security

    Love the responses I got for my fake post in 2009. Back in the day, I made a fake bottom to my cooler and snuck it in. It worked just like this post. Good luck in getting a cheap drunk on in 2010.

  27. Churchill Wannabe

    Hey Churchill,
    So how did you make that fake bottom to the cooler?

  28. Rusty Shackleford

    Place your bets on bets this year on And The Bear

  29. The 137th Kentucky Derby + Mint Juelp Recipe + Sneaking Booze into the Infield Ideas | Cork and Kegs

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