CadaverBlender is back. Fresh off a trip to the infield for Kentucky Derby 134 we’ve got the best way to ensure all your money goes towards exactas and trifectas and not towards $6 beer and $9 Mint Juleps (though one Julep for the souvenir glass might be worth it). I know you’ve come to expect a list, but really there is only one surefire way to sneak booze into Churchill Downs and thats with the booze sandwich. Click for more including pictures.
Making the booze sandwich is quite easy. Pick up your favorite alcohol (or in this case, a cheap alternative). The only logical selection for the Kentucky Derby was a fine bourbon. Evan Williams of course. Then select a hearty sized artisan bread. Large enough to hold a 16 oz. bottle. Then proceed by cutting the bread in half and removing most of the bread, leaving just the crust shell. Fill your 16 oz. bottle with your booze of choice and place inside the bread. Make sure the cap is tightly secured. You could stop there with booze bread, but why not make it more authentic and add a few slices of your favorite deli meat, a little lettuce, and some cheese. The mayo can be omitted because nobody wants a slippery bottle of booze. Once the bread is loaded wrap it in a little saran wrap and there you have it, your booze sandwich.
Before heading to the track, load your clear plastic bag with some other food: chips, fruit, and cookies and now you have a complete meal. When you arrive at security, they’ll think nothing of your booze sandwich, thinking only it looks like a tasty meal for a long day at the track. Find your spot in the infield, throw down your tarp, and proceed to unload your sandwich. Put your bottle of booze in your pocket and proceed to eat the rest of the sandwich, if you so choose. 16 oz. of boozy goodness to sustain your infield debauchery with only a small amount of work. It sure beats waiting in line for overpriced and undersized drinks once you’re at the track.
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May 7th, 2008 - 9:03 am
I’m so glad you all documented this. I was kind of wondering what it looked like. Pretty impressive I must say. I wouldn’t suspect it to be anything other than a sandwich.
May 7th, 2008 - 2:44 pm
Make me proud to be an Illini!
May 7th, 2008 - 3:10 pm
[...] CadaverBlender » Blog Archive » The Best Way to Sneak Booze into the Kentucky Derby CadaverBlender is back. Fresh off a trip to the infield for Kentucky Derby 134 we’ve got the best way to ensure all your money goes towards exactas and trifectas and not towards $6 beer and $9 Mint Juleps (though one Julep for the souvenir glass might be worth it). I know you’ve come to expect a list, but really there is only one surefire way to sneak booze into Churchill Downs and thats with the booze sandwich. Click for more including pictures. Making the booze sandwich is quite easy. Once the bread is loaded wrap it in a little saran wrap and there you have it, your booze sandwich. Before heading to the track, load your clear plastic bag with some other food: chips, fruit, and cookies and now you have a complete meal. __________________ This **** has got to stop. [...]
May 7th, 2008 - 3:20 pm
Post September 11th, 2001 Churchill Downs enacted very strict regulations on what is and isn’t allowed in the infield. The list of things not allowed includes both liquids and coolers. For the rest of the rundown check it out here at the Kentucky Derby website.
http://www.kentuckyderby.com/2008/experience/infield/what-to-bring
That’s why it was necessary to hide the booze in the sandwich. And plus you have lunch/dinner.
May 7th, 2008 - 3:45 pm
This is hilarious but unfortunately by producing these photographs you have ruined it for future parties.
May 7th, 2008 - 3:58 pm
I wouldn’t sweat it… I love the place, but they’re not that sharp in Kentucky…
May 7th, 2008 - 4:06 pm
[...] of the incredibly imaginative people at CadaverBlender (via [...]
May 7th, 2008 - 4:38 pm
you guys are trailblazers! one of the funniest things i’ve seen in a while! bravo!
May 7th, 2008 - 5:24 pm
That redhead kid with the hat looks like the kind of kid who would go see Made of Honor.
May 7th, 2008 - 6:06 pm
Jealous man,
we stuck one bottle inside a bag of “homemade” chex mix and another inside a box of twizzlers. But your idea is much slicker.
May 7th, 2008 - 7:52 pm
next year … ma’am can you open up your sammich?
May 7th, 2008 - 7:53 pm
Sweet! That sure looks like my Aunt Mary Jane’s kitchen!
May 8th, 2008 - 11:57 am
In past years, we’ve filled ziplocks with whisky and taped them inside of Triscuit boxes, taped bags to legs, and of course, purchased such great innovations as the flask-binoculars, flask-belt and flask-fake stomach.
May 8th, 2008 - 1:00 pm
They actually know people hollow out bread to hide booze, its part of a movie that plays next door at the derby museum.
May 9th, 2008 - 9:08 pm
Finally science and technology are being used for good instead of evil.
I hereby nominate you for a Nobel Prize in the field of Drinkery.