CadaverBlender is back. Fresh off a trip to the infield for Kentucky Derby 134 we’ve got the best way to ensure all your money goes towards exactas and trifectas and not towards $6 beer and $9 Mint Juleps (though one Julep for the souvenir glass might be worth it). I know you’ve come to expect a list, but really there is only one surefire way to sneak booze into Churchill Downs and thats with the booze sandwich. Click for more including pictures.
Making the booze sandwich is quite easy. Pick up your favorite alcohol (or in this case, a cheap alternative). The only logical selection for the Kentucky Derby was a fine bourbon. Evan Williams of course. Then select a hearty sized artisan bread. Large enough to hold a 16 oz. bottle. Then proceed by cutting the bread in half and removing most of the bread, leaving just the crust shell. Fill your 16 oz. bottle with your booze of choice and place inside the bread. Make sure the cap is tightly secured. You could stop there with booze bread, but why not make it more authentic and add a few slices of your favorite deli meat, a little lettuce, and some cheese. The mayo can be omitted because nobody wants a slippery bottle of booze. Once the bread is loaded wrap it in a little saran wrap and there you have it, your booze sandwich.
Before heading to the track, load your clear plastic bag with some other food: chips, fruit, and cookies and now you have a complete meal. When you arrive at security, they’ll think nothing of your booze sandwich, thinking only it looks like a tasty meal for a long day at the track. Find your spot in the infield, throw down your tarp, and proceed to unload your sandwich. Put your bottle of booze in your pocket and proceed to eat the rest of the sandwich, if you so choose. 16 oz. of boozy goodness to sustain your infield debauchery with only a small amount of work. It sure beats waiting in line for overpriced and undersized drinks once you’re at the track.