CadaverBlender

After five long months the fourth season of The Office returns this Thursday. It’s about damn time. Part of the reason we enjoy The Office so much is because at the heart of the matter these people – Michael, Jim, Dwight, Pam and the rest of the gang – are just like ourselves and the people we work with. I know you’re denying that right now, but face the facts. As much as we want to dislike Michael, we can’t. He always wants/tries to do the best thing and what he believes is right, but in the end fails miserably and usually offends everybody else during the process. So in honor of The Office‘s return Keith and I present our three favorite episodes. Since I know 95% of CadaverBlender’s audience watches The Office, there is no reason for lack of comments. So let us know your favorite episodes and why.

Jesus

There has never been a bad episode of The Office. They are certainly episodes the are better than the others, but that’s the only way you get a bad episode…relative to itself. I’m not separating the wheat from the chaff, rather the funniest from the funny. So here we go.

Health Care

  • – Not wanting to be responsible for cuts to the office health care, Michael leaves the decision to his right hand man, Dwight. Dwight attempts to make the conference room his office, but he’s only allowed to call it his personal work space.
  • – As Dwight tries to figure out what to cover, he asks for an anonymous list of health concerns from the office. Jim and Pam team up to not only put forth outrageous ailments, but also make up some classic ones. The list includes: Ebola, Mad Cow Disease, Spontaneous dentohydroplosion, Leprosy, Hotdog Fingers, Government Created Killer Nano-robot infection, Count Choculitis, Inverted Penis, Anal Fissures, and Dermititis. It ends up Kevin has anal fissures.
  • – To cheer up the office Michael inquires about a coal mine tour and wants to know if the elevator’s 300 foot drop is a thrill ride. In the end he surprises the office with ice cream sandwiches.

Dwight’s Speech

  • – Dwight must overcome his fear of public speaking to accept his award as Dunder Mifflin Salesman of the Year. Michael attempts to help Dwight in writing his speech.
  • – But instead of taking Michael’s advice he follows the advice of Jim.
  • – When Dwight is announced at the award ceremony he doesn’t take the stage and rather Michael attempts to speak for him, as his boss. Michael makes an ass out of himself stealing quotes and attempting to imitate the “sound effect guy” from Police Academy
  • – Dwight finally takes the stage and gives the speech Jim helped him put together. It resembles a speech of Mussolini and Hitler. Dwight bangs the podium and waves his hand like hes giving a politically charged speech. Michael sneaks out during the performance and misses the warm reception the crowd gives Dwight as his completes his speech with, “WE MUST NEVER CEDE CONTROL OF THE MOTHERLAND!”
  • – And I can’t leave out this classic exchange- Michael: “What is the difference between a salesman and a saleswoman?” Dwight: “A vagina.”

Fun Run

  • – After a few freak accidents involving the office, Michael thinks the office is cursed.
  • – Pam sees Michael’s penis.
  • – The major storyline in this one is Michael hits Meredith with is car in the office parking lot. Later we find out the Meredith has rabies from the time Dwight captured a bat that was in the office on Meredith’s head. Michael then thinks himself as the hero, since Meredith would have died otherwise.
  • – To raise money to break the curse, Michael creates a charity run. It is called, “Michael Scott’s Dunder-Mifflin, Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Fun Run Pro-Am Race for the Cure.” Michael mistakes a 5k run for 5000 miles.
  • – Oscar and Kevin debate is Pam and Jim are a couple.

Keith

My favorite episode of the Office is Email Surveillance. I’m gonna hit the highlights.

  • – Michael’s password is 1234, and he’s afraid of middle eastern folks
  • Michael tries to get invited to the party and fails
  • – Michael is horrible at improve always being Michael Scarn, and each character uses a gun, even after his imaginary guns are taken away
  • – Michael crashes the party, makes fun of it, and then sings both parts of Islands in the Stream
  • – A bunch of story lines are set off … Pam will distance herself from Jim slightly and Dwight and Angela are now a couple after making out in a doll house

After that … The Return / Traveling Salesman. I get to pick both because the producers combined them later on.

  • – We finally build some real Andy / Dwight tension and see all of Andy’s dumb destroy Dwight games
  • – Michael uses a public ladies room
  • – Dwight quits and while interviewing at what looks like a makeup company, he lists his qualities like alpha male and jack hammer, he also gives other companies his three part resume including Dwight Schrute Trivia
  • – Michael voice’s over a scene saying that he can’t understand how a person can be so unaware of themselves. This is rather ironic because Michael is the same way … during the scene Michael is hiding behind his door like a kid playing hide and seek … great.
  • – Andy opens the scene explaining that the Stamford people are like kids touring Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, but he’s not going to fall in the chocolate river
  • – Jim and Pam drive Andy nuts by planting his phone in the ceiling and force him into Management Training, Anger Management Training that is
  • – When they start the sales calls, they show a picture of Jim and Dwight simulated a few years ago, very funny

Finally The Job – whats up big haircut? Quite a great way to close up a great season.

  • Michael assumes he is getting the position at corporate … he even gives his official goodbye and anoints Dwight, don’t screw the pooch!
  • – He calls Ryan a bimbo, moments before Ryan becomes his boss
  • – Dwight paints the regional manger’s office black to intimidate his subordinates, then plans to trick it out like a stoner’s dorm
  • – Dwight creates a motivational tool called Schrute Bucks and then in the deleted scenes Creed counterfeits 2.1 Million Schrute Bucks and demands the cash equivalent or he’ll flood the economy … classic
  • – We finally see a resolution in team Karen v team Pam
  • – Pam is teased about her speech but never apologizes, obviously her character as finally matured / developed
  • – Michael withdraws his name from consideration after Jan flips out … and after he is told he won’t get the job

3 Responses to ““If you’re a racist, I will attack you with the North””

  1. Theresa

    There are just too many good ones to pick a favorite. I do, however, love “The Negotiation” when Darryl wants a raise and Michael tries to negotiate by doing really dumb things like talking in a whisper and other techniques he got from wikipedia. This is also the episode where Michael wears a women’s suit and Jim tries to thank Dwight for saving him from Roy.

    Quotes:
    Dwight: Don’t want it, won’t open it, don’t need it, won’t take it. Citizens do not accept prizes for being citizens.

    Michael: Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.

    Michael: You know at the sale it was very crowded and the suits were all in bins and I just grabbed one…and it fit…so at the very least this suit is bisexual.

    Dwight: (In confessional) No. Don’t call me a hero. Do you know who the real heroes are? The guys who wake up every morning and go in their normal jobs and get a distress call from the commissioner and take off their glasses and change into capes and fly around fighting crime. Those are the real heroes.

    Michael: A boss’s salary isn’t just about money. It’s about perks. It… for example, every year, I get a one hundred dollar gas card… Can’t put a price tag on that.

    Michael: It was a crime of passion, Jan, not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled.

    Maybe I should just post the whole episode…

  2. Keith

    ‘ … and Hero from Heroes’

    Theresa how dare you drop off the best part of the dwight quote …

  3. Jesus

    That’s the difficulty with posting quotes. You might as well just go and watch the whole episode. That is a good episode. I always say if its not on Wikipedia, or doesn’t appear in a Google search than its not real.

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